i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
