The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
