I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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