I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
