How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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