i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
