i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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