I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
