Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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