So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
