the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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