I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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