Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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