i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
