I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
