Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
