we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
