We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
