I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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