it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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