sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
