Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
