i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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