I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
