she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The best revenge is premature balding
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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