either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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