he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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