Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
