Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
