help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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