Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
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Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
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How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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