your room smells of hookers.
And success
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
