took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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