thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
