speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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