dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Drake has all the answers
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
