OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
