Only a mothe r could love this liver
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
