Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I touched a dick in church today
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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