Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Two words: blizzard sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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