p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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