Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
