I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How does one acquire holy water?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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