STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
