I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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