I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
