i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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