The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
