in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
