Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
