I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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