I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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