dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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