after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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