Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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