Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
