Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
