im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
