It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
