Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize