I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
