I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
