K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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