Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
