She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
wow bdsm is so cute
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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