Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
