Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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