You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
