her vagine was all disorganized.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Randomize
