he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
