I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
